I think that one of the terrible things that you have to deal with as a grown up, is that your parents are not infallible. That they are vulnerable. That they can probably die, just like other people.
My dad was driving me somewhere the other day, and telling me of how he plans to sell his Volve, b'cos he no longer trusts his driving. He said he was getting older and that his spatial judgment was getting bad, and i'm sitting in his car, and trying so hard not to listen to him... you know mentally i had my hands over my ears and singing "La, la, la, la" the way we do when we are kids and we don't want to listen to that kid over there calling you names
i just couldn't deal with it. i mean he's Super Appa. My dad. He can do anything. How can he not be able to drive a Volvo? so anyway, i don't really want to ever have to deal with it. i just want him to always be able to do everything fabulously, you know?
Three weeks ago my mum developed some terrible leg pains, and convinced herself she was dying - and she refused to let anyone take her to the doctor. i remember telling my colleagues at work this, and they were shocked at me - they kept saying "how can you just let her not seek treatment? what if there's something terribly wrong and you could treat it? - and whilst all that makes sense, here's the thing... it's my mum. what can happen to her? she is indestructable, virtually. she's not going to die.
and while logically, i know that of course such things (death etc) can happen to everyone (theoretically), i can't really reconcile it with my parents... Hope i don't even have to go think about it for a long long long time...
Anyway her leg pain went away. She went online and checked up her symptoms, and did some self treatment. For my mom, anything found on the net, is better than an actual doctor telling her the same time...
In any event, my mom has made me promise that if something were to happen to her, e.g she collapsed or something, and she was not in possession of her faculties, i am to refuse all invasive medical interference on her behalf. she doesn't want to have a bypass, or her leg amputated or something. Give me the dignity of death, she said. So there. not really negligent daughter after all.