Thursday, March 16, 2006

a mid week laugh

The Middle Wife By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.

First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh! Now the kid's doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man."

"They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much! "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe." "They started counting, but never even got past ten." "Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said was from Mom's play-center! , so there must be a lot of stuff inside there." Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.

Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

my day with gitanjali

I’ve been on the run the last two weeks, just juggling all my responsibilities. School holidays have started, and suddenly I too have a child on holiday… couldn’t do anything with her Monday and Tuesday as I had a trial. Hung out with her yesterday though, and I must say, we had a nice time. We went to visit my in-laws for breakfast, then went off to an Indian bookshop to get some books for gitanjali and a tamil alphabet poster. Then we came in to the office and indulged in some water colouring after which we had lunch. The whole office (excepting Mehala, pramo and I) went off on a durian excursion… but came back sadly disappointed as there were no durians in bangsar…

gitanjali quote of the day: “its so ie’tating mom. Where did they go – they didn’t tell me where they’re going you know. Its very itating (that “irritating” for the uniniated)”

I’m suddenly “mom” by the way… don’t know whether it’s the influence of school or tv

After lunch we read one of gitanjali’s new books.

Then we went off with moo and kalai to the bmw showroom in sungai besi to buy her papa a bmw. We’ve paid a downpayment for a 10 year old bmw 528, and shall be picking it up next week. Must say its looking v. nice. nice plates… WNsomething 300.

Came back and she had a nap after which we arranged some photos in a new photo frame and learned a little bit of the tamil alphabet. So much for our day yesterday. Sounds mundane but it was fun….

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

i like this story

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked Pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

(Aaaawwww! cho chweet no? i'm a bit of a cracked pot too. hope i've made your life interesting... ;-)

general rant

gosh, february galloped past us in a hurry. feels like it just dashed off like that without so much as a see you tomorrow or bye - and now they tell me it's march.... tsk tsk tsk. not sure whether i approve of all this... have been so busy the last couple of weks that i didn't have the time to engineer the holiday i really need. we were planning to go off to bangkok mid march but it looks we'll have to shelve that now. both our diaries are chock a block full. the days that i'm not in court, he's in court. and the terrible thing is that i know that when the actual dates roll around, the hearings will be postponed... what to do? such is the life of a litigation lawyer...

shall try and plan something for april as we need to get away badly - if you remember, we stuck around the whole of december while everyone else went off on their breaks, and then renovated through chinese new year holidays, so now we need a break badly. terribly... NOW - today.

feels like i'm due for a major service, with oil changes, new spark plugs and an overhaul if possible...

oh, it looks like the kinabalu trip is on. moo, kavi, shan, kalai and another couple are climbing mt. kinabalu in may. gitanjali and i are going along for the ride... ;-). of course its a break technically but since the others are viewing it as a mountaineering adventure, so shall i. am not climbing up for gitanjali reasons...

so am still eligible for break in april or sooner. the sooner the better. am getting grouchy in my old age already.

am feeling fat today. fat fat fat... wish i could be the kind of person who doesn't have to eat. pre-gitanjali, i could eat anything, and still remain slender... Huh! those days are long gone now. obviously was cursed by everyone i knew during that period and it has now come back to haunt me in the masses of my body fat and my double chin... why why why? inside it still feels like i have a fantastic bod, but the mirror tends to disagree... sigh... sadly exercising is against my personal religion or i would attempt it. the other day saw a lady on oprah going on about exercising with your kids, and how she won the ms. bikini title after that.

tried it at home and gitanjali sat on me when i did my crunches, tickled me and attempted to jump up and down on me as i was doing some kind of stomach exercise (ouch ouch ouch)... would like to meet that lady... will give her a piece of my mind, i can tell you. exercise with your kids konon...