Thursday, June 09, 2005

safe

certain days, i wonder what and who i would be, if i wasn't who i am now? if i had not done law, if i had not married my hubby, if i didn't have the friends i do, who would i be?

i've always been someone who took the safe road. not because i was scared of the other path, but simply because by nature i am lazy. it's fatiguing to be a rebel - and i've always been too comfortable to prick my own bubble. luckily for me my little bubble has always been floated along by sweetest of breezes, away from the thorny bushes and far far away from the dramas of poverty and hardship.

i've never had to wait for anything i've wanted. always been loved. always been comfortable. always been happy.

i always wanted to do something different - take a sabbatical and spend a year backpacking in europe or india. run away to france. work for a non-profit organisation educating the poor in africa.

Monday, June 06, 2005

anniversaries

7 years ago today, i got engaged to ms. 1 year ago we moved into these office premises. what does it all mean? it feels like yesterday (tho' i have to admit, this does sound desperately like a cliche'). all of it. 7 years is a long time isn't it? sure doesn't feel like it. guess it means i'm still having fun.

eternal sunshine

it's really quite in the office today. shall i do any work at all? its a moot question that requires deep thought...hmmm? tomorrow is the last day of my vegetarian fast, following my grandma's demise. there's prayers in my mum's place, and i have a new saree. am not quite sure whether this is the right attitude to have...after all, my grandma passed away a month ago. shouldn't this be a sober affair where we remember her and pray for her? is it right that i, her favourite granddaughter (i was you know) should have a new saree for the prayers? Definitely yes i think. my grandma liked to dress me up...i shall look pretty for her. gitanjali shall also look pretty for her atta.
sometimes i feel like i'm a cheer-upper. you know. some one other people rely on to cheer them up. a cheer leader for my friends. perhaps that's why i have so many friends. some of them call me only when they are down. not when they are deep in the hole i think, but when they are trying to come out of the hole. can't really explain. its good i guess, except sometimes when its not...

last week i was a little down. not depressed but just down, you know? even i have routine down days (for maintenance etc). the entire office couldn't take it and everyone bugged me and bugged me to cheer up. its not like there's a switch, is it, that i can turn off at will? but not many people get that with me. i'm eternal sunshine. i love that title - eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. that's me.

anyway i told them that i'm entitled to one off day every 3 years (b'cos mehala claimed that hse's worked with me for 2 1/2 years and not seen me like that). was back to myself by friday, so don't worry.