Monday, December 19, 2005

the urge to crash

sometimes when i drive, i look at the other cars, and i have this uncontrollable urge to crash into those cars - to smash them up and see what happens. to hear that sound - the tearing and twisting of metal - that impact - that jolt you get in your heart. just ram my monster truck into as many cars as i can - until my car can go no more...Those days, i get into the office and open up the newspapers and read about the poor dead crash victims, and feel better that i didn't act on that's not that i have a deathwish, you understand. i love my life. i love who i am. where i am. how many people can say that? not many, i can tell you. i don't want to die. not yet anyway. am having too much fun.its just that i think that in another life, i might have been a demolition derby driver. i would have been an excellent one. or a stunt man. woman. that would be great. instead i'm just a woman who loves to drive and the thrill of adrenalin pumping in my veins...i'm married. i have a daughter. she's adorable. he's wonderful. everyone loves me. i'm nice. i have lots of friends. work with my husband. my staff love me. i'm a lawyer and i do some interesting work.i have no secrets. ok, i have a few, but i've shared them with so many people, they probably don't count anymore...certainly nothing i can send to Postsecret....except perhaps for the abovementioned urge to crash...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

december pinks

did i tell you that life has been good lately? it has you know. am feeling on top of the world. i love december. what a month...feel like i'm on holiday. wish i could go on holiday, but scared my husband off with tales of the tsunami... sokay...i don't really mind. as i said, it feels like i'm on holiday anyway.

difficult to believe that last year at this time, we were both horribly sick from dengue fever. he nearly died you know. picture this, we are both warded for dengue, he is in intensive care, does not recall my name or his mother's name or house address or anything else relevant, just as i am digesting this, the doctor wanders into my room and tells me to pray, as they've done all they can for my husband... god! will not forget that day and the ensuing days thereafter...

needless to say he survived, so don't worry.

anyway despite all that, i still love december.

there's a new chambering student coming in tomorrow, and she's 55 years old!!! i have till now been very strict about our recruitment policy - you were not aware i had one did you? well the only criteria i have enforced in recruiting people is that they should not be older than me...

Gah!!! so politically incorrect you say? how could you, you say...

true to a certain extent, but look at the facts please -

i am a nut. i will freely confess to this. also all my current staff, despite being younger than me, bully me or in some way get their way around me (not in a bad way, but in some sort of way, you know...) don't get me wrong. i'm in control. when i get pissed, they get scared.

it's just that i very rarely get pissed. so they get scared of me maybe 3 times a year. perhaps 4. otherwise, they are just standing here strangling me or poking me or generally getting me to do things for them.... which i don't mind. i love them, and you only get as maneouvered as you allow it right?

but imagine if they were older than me!!! i would probably get squished or managed or patronised at the least.

so this new chambie is years older than me, and i am sitting here wondering, hmmm, how did i get myself into this...

also the rest of the office is looking at me, and asking, shri, how did you agree to this...

very interesting. she's coming tomorrow. we are all very concerned. obviously i cannot address this in my office blog, as she may someday have access to may have noticed that whilst this blog is linked to the office blog, the office blog is not linked to here...

so will keep you posted...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Alysha and Gitanjali (with half of alysha's barbie doll cake in the background), and sham's hand attempting to remove alysha's tiara...

I, the comforter

i don't know whether i've mentioned this before, but i have this hideous talent, call it a knack if you will, or something else - can't really say what the right word is...probably have to invent one...

people just come to me and pour their troubles out...

no, no, no...wait first. you have to hear the whole thing first before you can make up your mind, no?

when i say people, please understand that this is not restricted to people i know...sometimes, i don't know them at all, sometimes i do (obviously), but occassionally its' people i've just met, or people i know who don't keep in touch with me at all, who end up in trouble and then come looking for me... strange huh? i think so too.

when i say pour their troubles out, i mean literally crying, weeping sobbing etc, donno know why... and to be more exact, why me?

i once got on a bus (have i told you this one already? cannot remember. am total nincompoop when it comes to remembering things obviously) abd bought a ticket from the conductor (i know, i know, this is what you are supposed to do...), and then....

the conductor sat down next to me and started telling me how two months ago he got married to this girl, who ran away from him last month, and then this month, she and her boyfriend were killed in a motorbike accident...

how bizarre is that? so bizarre ok. no words for it, and how often does it happen to you ? (not the get married, running away story la, but the total stranger coming and telling you this story thing..) it happens to me all the time ... no kidding.

and then if a disaster strikes any of my loved ones, i'm the one they tell first. maybe it's b'cos i'm a cheerful personality. sham says it's b'cos i listen well... i don't know... i'm just the comforter

anyway the latest one to lean on me was sg (probably its best that i keep his name confidential) who called me yesterday crying because he had been given some terrible news... how?

felt really bad for him, but couldn't do much except to tell him to come over...poor thing.

perhaps it's because i'm this rabidly insanely cheerful person. you feel like giving me bad news to wipe off that grin on my face... who knows...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

just popped over to sham's blog and realised, the photos from alysha's party are up... they look so good. have stolen one of the four of us (sham alysha, gitanjali and me) to post here. it was a great party, and gitanjali had a blast. they face painting lady painted a butterfly on gitanjali's face, and for two whole days, she refused to believe that it had been washed off.... shall show her this photo to remind her of it. am so glad blogger lets us post photos now. so fun!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

poor ole me

am so ill. poor baby me... have to go to the doc, will go to the doc, shall be going v. shortly i'm sure...

tried to take the morning off, but G was at me, telling me to get uppp! lettt'ss gooo!!! so got dressed, sent her to my mom's and came into office for some peace and quiet.

she had food poisoning yesterday (horrors!!) - am bad mother apparently for feeding my daughter store bought chicken (my mom, the ever omnipresent one could tell that it was because i had fed her the claypot chicken rice i had cooked, without checking to see if the chicken came with some kind of health dept. clearance (subnote: i tried to explain avian flu to her, but she just went off muttering about feeding street (!!) chicken to babes (!!!)) - what to do?

luckily my pediatrician is an angel - children can get food poisoning simply because they touch something, then eat it... see, i knew it, am only slightly bad mother.... can still be redeemed (at least for a massage chair under bonusslink no?)

i went partying on friday nite!!! YAY! for me!!! YAY! HURRAH!! had such fun. danced and danced and danced. also somehow french kissed ajeet (who's a girl!!!) - sadly it wasn't good for either one of us because it was such a rush job. i donno what happened. she just wanted to kiss me i guess. nowadays i am quite hot you know. did i tell you i went and streaked my hair? am slightly blonde now, and baby, it looks like they have more fun...

also have new glasses. makes me look like the model in a spectacles ad (slightly). v. cool.

so like that lah.

Friday, November 25, 2005

life before and after gitanjali


I remember when I used to grab a book everytime I needed to take a pooh.


One of three alternatives take place, whenever I need to take a pooh

1. while G naps, I race into the bathroom, leave the door open (in case she wakes up), and go…;


2. husband distracts G, I race into the bathroom, only to have her pounding on the door and crying, open the door, I want to come inside….;


3. if my husband is out, I leave the door open and go, at which point G wanders in and starts clapping, saying “you’re a clevvver girl. I’m so proud of you…” (she's in the midst of potty training)


i realise that altho' i mentioned gitanjali's playschool here, i didn't actually tell you the story behind finding that school.

sham and i searched for months for a playschool where we could place the kids. since we live in brickfields, we felt that bangsar would be the ideal location to place. then we began hunting. good god! believe me, you will never know how difficult it was...

the thing is that they are so young...gitanjali is only 2 years and 4 months old, whereas alysha turns 3 coming monday... i wanted gitanjali to go to playschool b'cos i feel that as an only child, she misses out on playing with other children her age. we only see alysha during the weekends, during which time, G would be trying her level best to either strangle alysha or twist her head off... for me at this age, school should be about having fun, fun and more fun. she's got years of studying ahead of her and i really don't want her to do that now.

so for me, when i went and checked out the schools in bangsar, i really felt that the element of fun was missing... or if it was there, it was only allowed at intervals...

finally sham and i liked a place - it is a montessori kindy (also in bangsar0 and part of a large chain of montessori kindergartens. sham and i placed both of them in for a trial, and i hated it ... god, it was so obvious that the only sessions that G enjoyed was the recess and the before class period, when she was allowed to run around in the playground!!!

the rest of the time they just sat around and did some montessori work. i hated it b'cos it was so rigid and regimented...

sham and i sat and talked and talked about it - and came to the conclusion that this was not was we wanted at all.

then we decided to give the trinity methodist kindy in jalan gasing a try, b'cos we know some kids who go there - and it was amazing.. i walked in and immediately knew that i liked the feel of it. its based within the church premises and has a sprawling playground and proper classrooms. one of the things i hated about the bangsar kindies was the fact that they are all located in bungalows, with cramped classrooms.

well she's been going there for the last couple of weeks, and she loves it - and i love it as well, so Yay!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

chicken licken saved the day!!!

just a quick note to let you know - i'm ok. it was touch and go for a bit there, but have sorted myself out - the entire universe is not crashing after all.

for a while there, it really seemed like it was going to - but realised that there is always a reason behind every bad thing that happens to me:

in the last one month, i was reminded again and again that-

- i have wonderful wonderful friends who love me so much (how many people can say this? i am truly blessed)

- i love my husband very very much

- my husband loves me more than i love him

- i can contemplate life without him, whereas he can't

- life is good.

so that was nice to know

i am back to being my normal happy self. things are good. gitanjali is talking ever so much. my parents, who had been away in india, have come back. my husband and i seem to have fallen in lust all over again, so am having lots of fun ;P

have managed to clear up all my work, so am sort of free today. was touched by tina's comment today, and felt i had to update this blog. updated the office blog yesterday finally after so long...

my baby has really grown up. it's amazing how fast the last 2 years have flown. as sham's pregnancy gets nearer to term, i am reminded again and again by well wishers that its time for me to get preggers too...

i breastfed G for 21 months - just the thought of another 2 years of no independance is terrifying. v. scary so have been trying not to think of it.

promise to post regular updates here. bye for now... take care

Friday, October 21, 2005

this is what i feel like today. the hurricane is landing on sunday. will let you know if there is going to be any remnants or debris from what is my life

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

happy sarasvathi pooja!

today is the last day of navrathri, and it is a day in celebration of the goddess sarasvathi, who is the goddess of education, music, the arts and literature. when we were young, my mum would have a pooja in the house, and all of us would arrange our schoolbooks (and story books), my music books and my veenai before the altar , and we would pray for blessings on them (my mum used to sambrani-fy it, but how do you say this in english? what is sambrani in english anyway? incense? must find out...). shall go and do it with gitanjali this year. actually did it last year, but she kept grabbing her books and running away. prob. a tad bit too young then. we've been lighting tea lights everyday for the last eight days for navrathri, and she really enjoys herself. tulsi and sangeetha (her 2 current favourite dolls) join us during prayers and have learned to sit properly and pay attention during prayers (like gitanjali)

i guess this is my philosophy. religion should be fun. traditional customs and festivals should be enjoyed, not endured. now that i too am a parent, i realise that if i screw up the way my child perceives her religion, she will always have a distorted vision of her culture and her personal god.

i guess i have been lucky in the sense that i was never brought up to do something purely because my ancestors had been doing it for umpteen years. my mum believed that if we were doing something, we should understand the reason why we were doing it, so i always grew up in an enlightened environment where even the meanings of bhajan songs were explained to us, and everything about us was logicked to make us understand that although hinduism has a thousand gods, there is only one god, and that god is shared by us all...

for those among you, who don't believe in god, here's a photo to prove you wrong...

Monday, October 03, 2005

i had a nice weekend. went shopping with gitanjali, sham, alysha and suriani (alysha's kakak/maid) and bought some clothes for the kids. then we took them to semua house and all of us had noodles for lunch (almost all of us - sham and suriani had rice). after lunch we went up to sham's mom's place for a toilet break, then headed home. we got home and padma and mahes were waiting outside the front door. gitanjali modeled all her new clothes for them happily then finally went off to sleep cuddling padma. luckily i don't have low self-esteem because otherwise, this tendency of hers to rush off and find happiness in other people would bug me.

anyway after she slept off, mahes went to meet up with a client and padma and i watched a lovely, lovely movie. Spanglish. have you watched it? go watch it now.

by the time the movie finished mahes and ms had come back. mahes came and cooked dinner and we had a home cooked meal for dinner. v. nice.

yesterday we spent the whole day at home. v. nice as well. overall a v. satisfying weekend.

Friday, September 30, 2005

a quack, a honk, an oink and a splash

this year has been a great year for me, book-wise. through sheer luck i believe. such wonderful books i've managed to read this year. cold comfort farm (stella gibbons) was a blast, one hundred years of solitude was magic, the curious incident of the dog at night time was funny and touching at the same time, and the pig in the pond (martin waddell) which i have to read to gitanjali every night is a laugh (and a quack, honk, oink and a splash) a minute...

went to trisha and sasha (children's bookstore in sri hartamas) over lunch, and bought 2 great picture books for gitanjali, a terry pratchett book (diggers) for me, the compulsive spike milligan for my husband (actually its for me, but he doesn't know that and was overjoyed), and a mirriam stoppard pregnancy book for mehala (it was her birthday last week. she loved it, but i created office politics by buying it for her, b'cos apparently i didn't get kavi a pressie for her birthday...there was a big fight...don't ask...). it was all at 30% off - they're having a warehouse sale - so i only spent RM140.00 on all of that... so cheeeeaaap!!!

don't know whether i can go on for much longer without the new terry pratchett book - thud. i've looked everywhere for it, and no one has it yet - i can't even go and get some other pratchett book, b'cos i've got them all. diggers is actually for kids, but i liked the carpet people, so am sure will love it too. am not v. good at waiting obviously. shall try harder.

bought gitanjali a school bag (it's a pink piglet bag - kavi bought it actually. belated birthday present). she loves it and happily lugs it to nursery every morning. i have to get her some clothes for school. sham and i have decided to take the kids tomorrow and go shopping!!!

next week is navarathri (which means 9 nights), and i shall be vegetarian the whole 9 nights. it starts on the 4th. am planning to take gitanjali to the temple daily (this is a plan - don't know whether it is do-able, but shall attempt it) - may also take her for the dandhiya at laxmi narayanan temple. ajeet says she's been before and its nice. am sure gitanjali will love it. shall also ask sham. can just imagine the kids dancing... will be great fun if i can pull it off.

can't believe september is over. tommorow october begins... i'm not ready! i'm not ready! feel like rushing out and telling them to wait first. i'm not ready. hold on. if you locate the pause button, please let me know. need it.

Monday, September 19, 2005


i feel so grown up. my daughter is going to school. never mind the fact that she is all of two years old, and is going to playschool - where literally all she does, is play for three hours - i still feel very grown up about it...

today we turned into the road leading to her school, and she started shouting "school is cooommiing..." she is so excited about school! almost as excited as me i guess...

have pledged to go buy her a school bag today (to carry the following: 2 diapers, a change of clothes, a packet of milk, a snack, her water bottle)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

elephant in brickfields!!!

really, i swear. there was an elephant trumpeting around in brickfields, and gitanjali got to ride on it.

okay, okay, chill. i'll tell you the story...

once upon a time (or to be precise, yesterday, 7th Sept.), in a land far far away (so what if it was brickfields, just listen to the tale please), a small republic (the repunblic of brickfields to be precise) celebrated vinayagar sathurti (or ganesha sathurti, i.e ganehsa's birthday -it's quite a big deal, but since i'm not with the tourism board, you gotta go lok it up yourself baby).

there was a chariot, and drummer boys and chanters and an ELEPHANT!!! yay!. it was so much of fun. the chariot procession started off at the ganesha temple in brickfields, and the elephant was leading the way. we walked in front of the elephant a bit, and then this gut (who was with the temple committee) asked if gitanjali wanted to have aride. obviously we said yes, so off she went. she happily sat on the elephant's whatchamacallit (box? seat? something?) and off they went - still leading the procession. did not know this was going to happen, so didn't bring camera. obviously, nokia should place an add for camera phones on my blog, as i don't have one...

tried to memorise the look on her face for prosterity, but am such a dingbat will probably forget by next week.

the elephant started dancing and swaying to the music (obviously one of the jacksons) and gitanjali was happily sitting there, not a care in the world.

so we had fun. FUN FUN FUN.....

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

good deed

went and did my good deed for the month today. my husband's cousin had delivered a baby boy on sunday, and she called me today morning (just as i dragged myself out of bed and collapsed on the sofa to indulge in a spot of navel gazing) sounding tearful and desperate... apparently the baby had been up at one hour intervals all of yesterday, just feeding and feeding - it didn't help that this poor girl had been in labour for more than 24 hours, and finally had to undergo a c-section.

finally yesterday evening, she couldn't take it anymore and told the nurses to give the baby formula, but she woke up this morning feeling terribly guilty.

why is it that all our human relationships are governed by guilt? and there is no guilt that feels as horrible as that felt by a mother...

i went off to pmc to visit her, and chased away all the visitors in the room, then sat down and taught her to use the breast pump, and helped her to breastfeed. went in with the thought that it was going to be a drop in, demonstrate techniques and leave session, but the poor girl was so relieved to see me, she was hanging on to me, and was so reluctant for me to leave...poor thing.

so anyway, i was a good samaritan today. felt good baby.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Merdeka! Merdeka!

it's merdeka tomorrow...i see so many cars driving around with flags and i wonder, does it make me less patriotic that i don't want to spoil the paint job on my monster truck by sticking a plastic flag holder on it?

i don't think so. feel less patriotic anyway everytime i think about umno and the malay agenda. when will we be able to say that we are malaysians? when i was studying in the uk, my friends and i always told people we are malaysians, but now back in this country, every transaction i do is preceded by a form asking me whether i am malay, chinese, indian or other..whether i want to buy a car or apply for a credit card or redeem some points on my loyalty card, i have to tell them my race. i'm a malaysian init? but the forms don't have a box for malaysian...every thing is racial but we are told that to bring up the race issue is seditious. all the major political parties have a criteria that you must belong to that racial demographic first. wonder which party you join if your mother is chinese, your father is punjabi and you marry a malay...

it was different in the sixties and seventies you know...there was more racial tolerance i feel. my parents had more of a racial mix then than now.

anyway, happy merdeka! be patriotic. don't be depressed

Thursday, August 04, 2005


discovered to my horror that next month is september. sems rational right...this is august so naturally it will be september next month. but how? where did may, june and july go? how come its august? what's the rush? why have we jumped into august? or dear... don't think i'm ready for september. am supposed to put gitanjali in playschool in september, haven't done a thing about it...Aaaaaaargh... have to go and breathe for a bit.

Friday, July 22, 2005


can't believe its friday already. would say that the week has just flown past, but don't want to be a cliche'. have got some kind of pinched nerve in my back, and it is absolutely killing me. it happened yesterday, as i turned quickly to do something. my mom told me to roll around on the floor - did that, but it doesn't seem to have worked...on the plus side, it was fun rolling on the floor - gitanjali thought it was a new game, so she was rolling around as well, and she dragged moo (my husband) in, so all 3 of us were rolling on the floor. now for those of you who don't know, i live in a small flat - so there's not really that much place for 3 people to roll around in, one of whom is a 2 year old, who insisted on going in the opposite direction.

we were solicited by some lady yesterday to buy gitanjali some kind of starter encyclopeadia (with mickey and gang pictures in it) which cost 3k.

i always avoid these things, and run and hide at the first sight of direct sellers, but moo loves the whole shindig. he will just sit there and entertain the salesperson, and he really falls for the whole gig, anybody can sell him anything - which means he actually inspires the poor salesperson to believe that not only has he taken the bait, but that he's going to purchase the most expensive thing on her list with frills and cherries on top...then he will suddenly recall that he has a wife/partner in the office, and he will call me in on the meeting - by this time the salesperson has already mentally spent her commission and thinks i am coming in for a quick intro preliminary to signing the cheque. she/he will inevitably be drooling slightly. never before in their wildest dreams have they met a sucker like moo

i then walk in - they think i look like a pushover. i listen to them v. impatiently, and tell them "no, no - we need to think about this first. we will let you know", and walk off before they have the time to close the mouth (which has fallen open in horror!!!) tsk. tsk.

anyway, i end up doing that all the time, and had to do it again to the poor lady selling this reading set yesterday. felt bad for her, but what to do? sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do...i keep scolding moo and telling him not to do it, but he is like jelly in the hands of salespeople. whenever i let him loose, he comes back buying some idiotic thing, just to make them go away. he went and signed both of us up to be amway dealers, and didn't tell me about it at all - he didn't have the pamphlets, the catalogues, nothing. happily hid it from me - all the while, i was wondering how come i was getting monthly magazines from amway. finally, almost a year later, when we moved office and i was packing things up, i found a whole bunch of amway stuff -which is when he told me he had paid for a one year membership (family membership, mind you) to get the salesguy off his back!!!! AAaaaaaargh!!! never bought a thing while he had the membership...anyway this is typical of him.

so there you have it - i confess i am a squisher of direct selling personnel's commission dreams...altho' if i had the reading set, gitanjali would know that elephants tramp or march, rather than walk...

oh, well. life goes on i guess, or perhaps i should say that it marches on...although this week feels like its been on fastforward...

Monday, July 18, 2005

just finished off gitanjali's birthday celebrations. my baby turned two on 12th July - its amazing how fast she's grown up. so anyway, the festivities started on 12th july, and only ended yesterday....oh dear. by this i guess you can safely deduce that i like partying - so true baby. i do, i do....

we cut a cake on the 12th in the office - everyone had party hats, and ajeet came by for the cutting. the actual moment when we sang the birthday song was one for the videocam. gitanjali's mouth was wide open and she kept turning her head to look at everyone singing...too cute, but my digital camera was having an off day and couldn't capture it - she was moving too much..padma and mahes got her a doll house in the evening, so we played with that on days 2 and 3. my mom baked her a cake as well, so there was a repeat performance of the head turning and the gaping mouth...

thursday we went out for dinner, kavi, shan, gitanjali and i. friday was shopping day for the bbq on saturday. saturday was the bbq to celebrate her birthday, and sunday was opening all the presents, playing playing playing and eating loads of birthday was also fish biryani with sham and alysha. v. yummy.

Monday, July 11, 2005

potty about you

Oy! i'm reading...

sunny baby

One of my favourite pix of gitanjali - she was 6 months old when this was taken

Friday, July 08, 2005


going to go out for dinner with the girls from office shortly. gitanjali is in the office today, and it has been fun. she gets more and more fun daily. nowadays i never feel alone, because i have my own gang with gitanjali. we do stuff together, and when i have a rare fight with husband, i am never alone in silence - as used to be the case. life goes on being wonderful b'cos she's there. perhaps its because she's so much like me - she's an extension of my personality, and she likes system of a down and casabian just as much as i do...

but then again,its not as if i'm someone who really feels alone or despair or cheerful personality. have always been to the exasperation of those who love me most. apparently its really annoying to have someone who consistently fails to panic or despair...went to india with my mom and really pissed her off b'cos i was not worried that someone would catch us (2 women alone in a strange land) and rape/murder us. you will be glad to hear that they didn't, but it still pissed her off...

my mom is someone who gets stressed about everything. never figured out how i became her daughter. having had gitanjali who's just like me and finding it so fun, i wonder how my mom managed with me, who's totally opposite to her...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

am back for short visit

realise that i have been neglecting my public. can't remember when i last posted anything here. surprisingly i still have a public. somebody visits me everyday from the us...amazing. its just that i am so busy and in between i seem to be the only one keeping the office blog running that i hardly think of this little baby.

life has been pretty much routine around here. have attempted to inject some life into it by:

putting in new bookshelves at home, and rearranging my books. feel a deep sense of satisfaction that i have so many books. realise after doing this that i truly am some kind of obsessive possesive personality. the fact that i own things makes me happy. the fact that its mine, mine, mine, AAHAHAHAHA!!!!! have always been like that but have fooled people around me who misguidedly believe that i am a generous person... feel really strange when i realise that gitanjali is exactly the same. she goes around declaring "This gitanjali's, mine" and she thumps herself on the chest (ala tarzan) as well while she's saying it. everyone looks at her, and says its so typical of an only child, but i know that it's me.

have also gone and bought two pots of petunias, which are hanging off the balcony, waiting for some really windy day, when they will be swept off and brain someone below...they are gorgeous. one is a deep purple and the other is fucshia pink (really donno how to spell it - every variation looks wrong. fuchsia. so wrong).

planning to highlight my hair ( going to try the bimbo look again. works for me)

piercing gitanjali's ears. poor baby is now in pain, b'cos skin peeled off...feel terrible about it, but what to do? tis what being a woman is all about. might as well do it now. But really, i truly feel awful about it. what to do? she needs earrings...anyway, i go on like this in my head for the better part of the day, but scarcely feel better about it..

Sham's pregnancy initially motivated me into attempting to get pregnant, but good god! am totally demoralised by the way she is suffering. Suddenly remember that for the first 3 months of my pregnancy i was totally and completely useless. used to come into the office and sleep on the mattress on the floor, with my phone next to me. used to only get up to eat or throw up or both or to take urgent calls from despairing clients. How to go through that again? am finally back to svelte body (okay, so svelte is an exaggeration, but have always wanted to be svelte. this is my blog, so i can very well be svelte if i want to be...). have nice independant woman once more. can consume alcohol again (do you know if i get pregnant, it will be 27 months of no alcohol? aaarghhhh!!!). have been clubbing occassionally. can sleep through the night....

i really don't know whether i can do this. will keep you posted....

book review

one hundred years of solitude - gabriel garcia marquez

wow. i feel like falling at this guy's feet, and saying i'm not worthy..... such. a. brilliant. read.

go beg, borrow or steal (or possibly buy) it NOW, and read it immediately.... loved it.

Thursday, June 09, 2005


certain days, i wonder what and who i would be, if i wasn't who i am now? if i had not done law, if i had not married my hubby, if i didn't have the friends i do, who would i be?

i've always been someone who took the safe road. not because i was scared of the other path, but simply because by nature i am lazy. it's fatiguing to be a rebel - and i've always been too comfortable to prick my own bubble. luckily for me my little bubble has always been floated along by sweetest of breezes, away from the thorny bushes and far far away from the dramas of poverty and hardship.

i've never had to wait for anything i've wanted. always been loved. always been comfortable. always been happy.

i always wanted to do something different - take a sabbatical and spend a year backpacking in europe or india. run away to france. work for a non-profit organisation educating the poor in africa.

Monday, June 06, 2005


7 years ago today, i got engaged to ms. 1 year ago we moved into these office premises. what does it all mean? it feels like yesterday (tho' i have to admit, this does sound desperately like a cliche'). all of it. 7 years is a long time isn't it? sure doesn't feel like it. guess it means i'm still having fun.

eternal sunshine

it's really quite in the office today. shall i do any work at all? its a moot question that requires deep thought...hmmm? tomorrow is the last day of my vegetarian fast, following my grandma's demise. there's prayers in my mum's place, and i have a new saree. am not quite sure whether this is the right attitude to have...after all, my grandma passed away a month ago. shouldn't this be a sober affair where we remember her and pray for her? is it right that i, her favourite granddaughter (i was you know) should have a new saree for the prayers? Definitely yes i think. my grandma liked to dress me up...i shall look pretty for her. gitanjali shall also look pretty for her atta.
sometimes i feel like i'm a cheer-upper. you know. some one other people rely on to cheer them up. a cheer leader for my friends. perhaps that's why i have so many friends. some of them call me only when they are down. not when they are deep in the hole i think, but when they are trying to come out of the hole. can't really explain. its good i guess, except sometimes when its not...

last week i was a little down. not depressed but just down, you know? even i have routine down days (for maintenance etc). the entire office couldn't take it and everyone bugged me and bugged me to cheer up. its not like there's a switch, is it, that i can turn off at will? but not many people get that with me. i'm eternal sunshine. i love that title - eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. that's me.

anyway i told them that i'm entitled to one off day every 3 years (b'cos mehala claimed that hse's worked with me for 2 1/2 years and not seen me like that). was back to myself by friday, so don't worry.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

have had a really succesful day of no work...its amazing what you can do if you set your mind to it. have been pretending to be busy all day. plus gitanjali is in the office today (parents had to go out), so busy trying to stop her from destroying fixtures and fittings.

she put on her black jeans today, and walked around saying "cho cute" to herself (lol). its nice to have a girl, i must say.

have returned back to one hundred nights of solitude and am so hooked. why did it take me so long to find this book? why why, tell me why (old anita mui song i think...)

probably as yoda would say, "ready, i was not".

i need to buy a lightsaber. need it now, but everyone's telling me it won't be the real thing!!!!

you reckon? it saddens me to think that the people of jusco and toys r us might be cheating millions of children by selling them plastic light sabers...anyway shall go look. it is on my shopping list this week.

am devastated to find out (from sham's blog) that shamira is not star wars fan...she has cunningly hidden this from me...hownow? still love her, but cannot be held responsible if i suddenly poke her with my light saber (which i will buy)...

it feels like the calm after a violent storm around here..why you may ask? b'cos the G has gone to sleep the sleep of angels...

we interrupt this post for a short Gitanjali commercial break

she's really fun, but extremely tiring. being extremely independant, she doesn't like me to crowd her. she likes to do her own thing, knowing that i am somewhere in the vicinity. occassionally she comes over and does the affectionate thingy, and is all hugs and kisses, but usually she is one rowdy who is trying to do everything at the same. yesterday she had a big fight with ms b'cos he was trying to hug me. she was clinging on to me possessively and crying "this mama mine!" (LOL) so cute. i have to admit it was nice..

back to the post

oops, its tea time so have to go.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

am i a short hair person?

testing out my new haircut today. don't know whether its me....apparently i've lost my glamour look, b'cos of new hair cut. was v. impressed that i used to have glamour look. ahh well. it'll grow in 2 months...

did not read anything the whole weekend, unless you can count owl babies, and this is the bear that fell in the bin... i wouldn't if i were you, though owl babies is pretty wonderful.

have a new handbag and white shirts. sham and i dashed to sec. 14 while the kids had their afternoon nap yesterday...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

the gods made heavy metal

'tis a wonderful morning, and i feel good. so let me enlighten you on the full Sri package. all the perks and benefits, as well as the disadvantages... nolah, my post will be too long, so let me tell you about my current fav.

books i am currently reading...mmm, i am one of those people who read 2 to 3 books at any one time...don't know why, i guess its just that i have different moods throughout the day, so i have different books to suit my varied appetite... so anyway, i am currently reading one hundred years of solitude by gabriel garcia marquez (which i have been dying to read for a long time, but have been unable to locate till now), and some other book called the great fire by sheila hazzard ( i picked this up from a book sale the other day). will keep you posted with my reviews

what have i just finished reading?
cold comfort farm - simply hilarious, but in a subtle kind of know how some people tell you jokes with a straight face, well this is that kind of book. its by stella gibbons. if you can find it, read it.

booty nomad - another hilarious book, but in a very loud way. there are victoria's secret mannequins, a lovable hero who is trying to recover from a breakup with his girlfriend of 2 years, fart stories, soup (don't ask). i think they're making a movie of it. its by scott mebus - time pass you know? it was fun.

music i am currently listening to...
this morning i put on some manowar - "the gods made heavy metal, and they saw that it was good, they said to play it louder than hell and we promised that we would..." i love that song, but gitanjali didn't think too much of it. she kept asking me for brown girl in the ring (tra la la lala) boney m. her current favourite, along with smoke on the water (deep purple) - i think its b'cos of the guitar riff, but she adores it, and keeps asking me for "water, water" (that's what she calls it) - first time she asked me for it, i thought she was thirsty...(lol). please understand, b'cos they are her fav. songs, i have to listen to them at least 5 times daily... on the ride to my parents place (where i drop her in teh mornings), and on the ride back (when i pick her up)

i am also listening to main yahaan (veer zara), and raa raa (from chandramukhi)

more later...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

down with the melons!!!

have ditched the watermelons, but decided to keep the resolution to lose some weight, so am on a veg, fruit and protein diet. v. healthy...

feel good this morning. am going to have a happy day, i can tell. i am wearing my new white pants (who knew i could carry off white pants...) have to finish off my shopping by the end of this week, as otherwise i might spend all my wardrobe money... if i didn't tell you, i was given RM2500.00 to replenish my terrible wardrobe. clothers for court, a suit for court, a handbag, shoes, and spectacles (which gitanjali broke. tally so far, have sorted out contacts and specs, bought the shoes, one white shirt, one black skirt, 3 happening pants (one of which i am wearing now), and a paint suit. apparently metro is on sale this weekend, so shall go off and get the rest of it. have cleared out my existing wardrobe and will attempt to give the clothes away, failing which will go and donate to some charity...

i have gotten a little addicted to this i must say, this blogging.... the thing is the rest of my office is too busy to update the office blog, so i end up doing that as well, so its a little time consuming. somehow, i end up blogging there more than here. i guess its b'cos that's a shared blog, and more people read it, as opposed to this one, which for now is too personal for me to reveal to people i know...

shall blog a little more later today, but have to go and pretend to do some work now.

ta, Sri

Monday, May 16, 2005

watermelons ahoy!!!

Got into office this morning and discovered (or remembered rather) that I am on some new toxic removal diet. Fruits all day. In any way. Felt really fat on Friday, which was why I agreed to go on this diet in the first place. It’s a group effort so can’t back out now. Mehala has however just told me that it can’t be whatever fruit I feel like eating. I have to restrict it to one fruit. Can you imagine? We started off with watermelons… cannot imagine eating just watermelons all day. Shall pretend I didn’t hear what mae said, and eat all fruits. Wonder if can eat rojak …probably they will kill me. Also I am vegetarian to mourn atta’s passing. One month of vegetarianism, coupled with a whole day of watermelons….can do the vegetarian thing, but the melon thingy is a bit iffy if you ask me..

There’s a whole schedule too – tomorrow its’ vegetables and fruits, third day a baked potato…shall live today and tomorrow for that potato I guess. The only comfort is that Ms is on it too, so I won’t be tortured by him eating while I am meloning.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

my monster truck

it's big. it's black. it's a 2.8l rexton. it's my monster, and i love it. have discovered that i am vain, and egoistic - otherwise i would be happy with a teeny weenie car right? am not that person. can never drive a kancil.

i loved my satria - used to be a speed demon with it. now cannot be speed demon, b'cos monster too big, but am happy squishing other cars on the road. they don't mess with me and my monster...i hate it when i have to drive my husband's old beemer. it's ok, but 20 years old, and no match to my monster. am a vainpot. cannot deny it anymore. you know those horrible people who dominate the road. i'm one of them. today the road, tomorrow the world. a-hahahahaha!!!! !! (note the multiple exclamation marks) aha ahahahaaahaaa!!!!!!

escape from car park

i’m in a good mood today. Went to court in the morning for a mention. Denmark House. Was before Tuan Edwin P. Have noted a distressing tendency on my part to forget pronouns in my sentences. Shall strive to do better.

The roads were pretty clear, and managed to get to court by 9.10. He only ever starts at 9.15am, so I was pretty early. The car park was full so I headed upstairs to the building car park. Was halfway up in my monster truck before I realised I don’t have glasses, and this was probably not a good plan. Too late to back off tho’, so drove all the way up praying that I wouldn’t scrape the car. Off all the car parks i know, this is the one that's most obviously been designed by a drunk idiot who bought his degree from a non-existent university somewhere in ktoing-ktoing. either that or he is some agent of the devil out to gather new souls for his collection (just imagine how many people drive up and down this bloody thing every day cursing...). did not scrape car on way up. praise be to all guardian angels of car park users everywhere...

I am such a nitwit. Got to the court toilets and realised that I am still carrying my bohemian bali handbag, and am wearing dangly earrings (from bali). As if this was not enough, I am (to add to my personal style), also wearing black boots (simply b’cos they are the only shoes I own - you are shocked I can tell. Shall tell u more about this later), and my checked light blue shirt (don’t panic. Its very light, and the checks are v. small. It’s practically white, but it isn’t - if you know what I mean). Removed earrings, and folded up handbag. So much better already. Anyway its only Edwin. He’s a sweetie, and highly unlikely to throw me out purely b’cos am wearing light blue shirt (which is practically white anyway)…

He did not throw me out at all. Finished my matter, and bought some people I hardly know, except for Ai Ting (who used to work with Ajeet) breakfast. Felt very rich and generous doing it.

Nearly had a heart attack on the way out. Its a bloody narrow tunnel, and for special effects, (in case you were not worried already), you can see all the marks on the wall where your predecessors have scraped their cars. Successfully escaped from the bloody place without scraping monster truck. Have I told you about my monster truck? Shall tell you about it next time…

Came to office, put on music, looked at guna’s flowers (he sent us flowers you know. V. sweet of him), and then called guna to tell him sad news that they are appealing (they are, you know)… turns out he’s on the way over. He’s heer now and wants to buy us lunch…am off for lunch now like big successful lawyer that I am..

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

tuesday with sri

just caught up on sham's blog for the last week. started to cry and had to hide in bathroom. ok now. i love her, and she loves me. its just that sometimes life is complicated. guess that's the beauty of blogging. i would never have known that she was so upset last tuesday if not for that...
left a message there for her on her blog.

someday i must write about all my friends so that u can get to know them. not today tho' as it is a chaotic mad day. whole office happy to see us. they miss the noise, konon. obviously they missed me. am wearing my new black tie pants (from bali), orange top (an old low cut one that sham and i both have and bought at the same time), new silver dashyat earrings (from bali), new ring (surprise present from moo from bali), new slingbag (from bali) and of course braided hair.

am so in love with bag that have been walking around all day with it. the girls are scolding me and calling me a nut, but i love it. love it. love it.

love my earrings. love them.
just walking around all day. did not do any work at all. am going to Times warehouse sale with mehala and kavitha at 5pm sharp. sharp. kavitha has just come and ordered me. 5pm sharp. shall have to finish this by then.

my hair is itchy. shall unbraid it tomorrow. madhavi looked really ill in the morning, and then at lunch time she showed me a spot on her arm. looked at it in horror and checked her bag, and guess what? she's got chicken pox. diagnosed her in a juffy, and packed her off. she has strict instructions not to turn up for 2 weeks...

shan the darling (our attachment student from UM) has been transformed into receptionist. poor thing. suspect the girls are bullying him, but too in love with bag to bother. shall think about it tomorrow.

its not 5 yet.

gave everybody their presents (they loved it). put ganesha and pot (which we bought for the office) in their places. looks great. shaki called to ask how the trip was. it was nice talking to her, but don't really connect with her anymore. feel she's in a different place. wonder if sham feels that way about me... aaarghhh!!

sometimes i feel it would be too much to ask of her, to go out with me, when she is already striving to find time to spend with suben... and then when gitanjali and alysha get together, there's no way we can have a conversation. had to whack sham on sunday to get her to listen to the fact that my glasses are broken. in between trying to hug alysha into unconsciousness, gitanjali was trying to climb all over sham.

its 5. have to go.

later, tomorrow.

i have returned...

oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day... have returned from bali, refreshed and rejuvenated. am still slightly high i think... i loved it. we all did. moo had a great time, so much so that we have vowed to return and also to make office trip next year. gitanjali had so much fun...

We had so much fun!!! (multiple excalamation marks – a sure sign of a disordered brain). Bali was (in no particular order) wonderful, temples, ginger tea, shopping, gitanjali, dokar rides, stone elephants, snake, bats, buffet breakfast, barong, hard rock hotel, aeroplanes, “sayang”, bargaining (“can get anything at least 50% off” ms is king of bargaining – at least so he says), tanah lot (!!!!), volcano, strong winds, padi terraces, wonderful (oops said that before. shall say it again), earrings, pasta, planet hollywood, arak attack, arak madu, bali hai, warong made, narrow lanes, spa, massages, flower baths, gentle people (how colonial of me to say that, but its’ true), makciks everywhere, Doggies (gitanjali’s Sandra Boynton book – woof woof), handbags, sarongs, green locks, wood craft, gitanjali, ganeshas, waves, beaches, sunsets, temples at every junction, black and white sarongs around statues, bhima and arjuna, flowers in wooden pots, lovely, Australians, Japanese, Balinese, hindus, agong, bacon, beachside radio station (in a van, no less), system of a down, fantastic music, beautiful, hair plaiting, manicure, pedicure, temporary tattoos, hats, nachos, monkeys, tega lalang, fabulous…

bought presents for everyone. owl babies for gitanjali (one) and alysha (two). after we bought them, we went next door (to another shop) and they had 3 owl babies and the mother! (sigh) too late right?) very sad. next time.

shall blog more later as being bombarded by kavi and mehala on details of trip. anticipate more gushing....

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

we won! we won!

we actually won guna's case. how cool is that? makes a great holiday present. we won!.. cannot quite believe it.

mehala was a darling and went to court for me. she called at 3pm, panicking and said ym wants clarification!!! told her what to say. she then called back in half an hour and said "we won!" oh my god.... how amazing is that?

i screamed. kavi screamed, and we hopped towards each other then hopped all the way to shan's cubicle screaming!!! we won. unbelievable. so great to have friends in the office to celebrate with. mehala came back and we celebrated again...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

bali ho

we're going, we're actually going. cannot believe it. nearly cekik my husband this morning. went to collect our passports at immigration, and they asked for my ic before releasing passport. how. b'cos i am such a paranoid person, i do not carry my ic with me. fear that i will lose it and have to get mykad.... visions of george orwell's 1984 strike me whenever i think of the mykad. feel it is invasion of my privacy and breach of my constitutional rights. however to poor and too lazy to take it up in court.

anyway back to story. told hubby it must be in drawer back home. he insisted drawer at home did not contain ic. had a sudden flash of contents of drawer (u know how this can happen right. suddenly i could see entire contents of drawer in my mind. - obviously it was ms's drawer and thus quite empty. imagine if this was my drawer. no way anybody can tell entire contents of my handbag let alone my drawer). ic not there.

panicked like hell. wonder how u spell panicked. does not seem correct . anyway, how? felt palpitations coming on, as flight is tomorrow. cannot imagine running to make police report, let alone new ic today. have hellish schedule for today...tried to convince the woman at the counter that driving license is as good as ic. she failed to budge. on verge of heart attack. how? first holiday in years. cannot let it go.

retired to chair under huge cloud. suddenly my husband produces ic from contents of his wallet! aaaarrgh. if not for fact that he is my love, and in crowded immigration dept, would have killed him. did not do so. gave him a look, and told the laughing officer at counter that i would cekik him at home.

have got passport. can go. am going.

still feel like killing him, but shall let it pass. imagine if i had done that to him? would have been divorced by now...

going... bali is waiting for me...yay. must photocopy passports, and finalise packing. must take camera. will not forget to take charger for camera. will remember that it is holiday, and i should not get stressed. am v. v. stressed. but am going. don't worry.

will come back and tell you about it. hasta la vista baby.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

just Shri

how exciting. my first blog. feel like running around telling everyone, then realise this would defeat whole purpose.

am having a v. good morning. no nescafe. trying to break away from caffeine as of today. pleased to report no side effects as yet. feel like having a cup tho'. how now?

obviously cannot be doing this now, as accountant/auditor on the way to office to discuss taxes with me. should be sorting out stuff. will do it in a minute. am in love with song from veer zara - main yahaan hoon - torturing whole office by playing it again and again. it is as if udit is singing to my soul...

woke up in the morning to find ms (mu husband) snoring away after late night out. woke gitanjali up, and we painted his nailes pink. also put on bindi for him, but he woke up before we could do make up. never mind. he has no idea where remover is, so is stuck with pink nails... hee hee

gave gitanjali cereal for breakfast. she is wearing blue chinese pajama (alysha's hand me down), and looking cute. two clips in hair - walking around saying "pretty girl"... she's so adorable. love her sooooo much.

dropped her off in old klang road (my parent's place). she ran off to feed the fish, but gave me big hug and kiss first. forgot to wear perfume, so sprayed my mum's white linen (estee lauder).. have obviously overdosed it, its killing me now.

ran away before mum could comment on dress. why, why? am so old... am mother to child. ms and whole office love dress. why not my mother?

ok. shall run off and be responsible partner now. accountant ringing bell obviously.
shall return soon tho' this may be my one and only blog on this site. forgot what my user name is, after processing it 3 million times. must try to recall it for next time.